What is left unexpressed

1.What role does internal narrative play in self expression?

 

2.Your inner narrative interpreting the times where you float with the buoyancy of hope and sink with an inability to grab hold of perspective.

 

3.Accepting

 

  1. A meeting is taking place inside an unassigned office occupied by Harold Incandenza and various University of Arizona Staff.

 

5.The suspended state from which Hal, observers, Narrates, and acts (and at times doesn’t act) in this scene is telling, From the moments where Hal questions whether or not to “risk” scratching the side of his jaw to his long winded internal response to the over arching reason they are all gathered in that moment; A response that never quite materializes into anything of substance.

 

 

6.This moment in the story is when I was forced to contemplate my own vice, over thinking myself out of conversations, actions, and even responses. When I place myself next to Hal at  the moment I find that DFW is making a striking assertion about how crippling over thinking can truly be especially when accompanied by someone like Hal’s Uncle CT. who leaves little room with all his coaching for Hal to express without over analyzing.

 

  1. Is the illness real or a result of all things perceived.

 

  1. The desire for perfectionism, to show “them”, to express what is actually going on inside not only the situation but the person can leave a crippling anxiety when juxtaposed with a critical or calculating inner conversation.

 

  1. Fashioning reactions to stimuli rather than reacting.

 

  1. When interrupted with the scene of Hal eating the mold I not only stand with April Incandenza, concerned, disgusted, and questioning but I too enter into the space that Wallace illustrates with this scene.

 

  1. Critical Self awareness has a clever way of making your worst fears come true. Marked by a constant questioning one self, overly concerned with the way people will perceive you.

 

12.Left with a disgusting feeling that something quite important in you. Something people should know, had been left unexpressed.

 

 

 

  1. Is it out of self expression that we break undesirable patterns?
  2. Clinging to a comfortable habit that failed to express who Erdedy desired to be. He waits for the young woman
  3. Catalysts can come in the form of other people. People can also be manipulated into enabling us.
  4. Erdedy  is addicted to weed. This is obvious in his desire to stop but his inability to follow through. His preparations are a part of his ritual. Obsessive personalities can often be expressed through ritual and addiction and this can be attached to a number of things
  5. Maybe then it is out of escape from one’s self that we form these habits and rituals. This being the reason Erdedy feels that rather than tell people that his problem is in fact pot. He in various situations convinces people there are other reasons behind his use or purchase of large amounts.
  6. Erdedy is on edge during his wait for fear of missing her. His fear of being unable to complete the ritual. The way we all fear at some point or another let go of one part of our self. One that may not fit as well as others into the overall person we feel we are.

7.While waiting to complete the ritual, Erdedy stifles himself thinking “very broadly of desires and ideas being watched but not acted upon”

  1. In a moment where the reader might think Erdedy is coming to Grips with his problem with pot both the phone and intercom rings
  2. And here lies the issue for Erdedy. Fear. The question of “ how do I  to act in a way that’s going to bring to me that which I desire?”  Fear of missing the mark, the desired outcome for any given situation.
  3. Worrying so much about the outcome of a future action that he in fact fails to act. The way Wallace illustrates this scene for us Erdedy trying to move towards both so that he “Stood splayed legged, arms wildly out…”  shows just how absurd these fears can be. When you’re so worried you’ll miss something that you miss it anyway.

 

 

  1. Don Gately for me is a representation of how things can sometimes just go wrong.
  2. “Drug addicts driven to crime to finance their addiction are not often inclined toward violent crime. Violence requires all different kinds of energy, and most drug addicts like to expend their energy not on their professional crime. But on what their professional crime affords them”
  3. Though we don’t see where Gately has been planning this burglary we know him to be some what of a professional.
  4. Do we expect professionals to never make mistakes or have incidents?
  5. The inability of Gately and DuPlessis to communicate brings to question the what if’s?
    What if Gately had understood Quebecois French? Would the Robbery have turned out differently? Would it have been a burglary.
  6. DFW alludes in the end that despite Don Gately completely acting as himself  in the way he had “no will to energy-consuming violence…”  He was still responsible for the death of DuPlessis and there would be consequences
  7. Not all of the consequences of living out of yourself will be bad and they can often leave you better off than overthinking your way out of yourself.

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